Delusional Husband Expects Wife To Watch Their Infant 24 Hours A Day While She Is On Maternity Leave

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  • 01
    Font - Posted by u/rayzrisme 20 hours ago 3 AITA for asking my wife to take care of our newborn during the night hours while she is on maternity leave?
  • 02
    Font - My wife works at a company that gives 16 weeks of paid maternity leave, I only asked her that during that 16 week time period that she take care of the baby during the midnight hours while I sleep, since I have to wake for work M-F.
  • 03
    Font - I told her that after I get off work I will take over entirely, do all chores cook, take care of the baby and even more so on weekends where I have no issue staying up late, waking up early or multiple times in the night for her to catch up on all of her needed rest.
  • 04
    Font - I also know that some nights even if I'm working I will stay up with the baby, but she still thinks it's unfair if it's not an even split, which I disagree with. Be honest I may be the asshole I just want opinions.
  • 05
    Font - OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: 1. Believing that it's my wife's job because she is getting maternity leave to be the primary care taker, and thinking she should be fine while I get a full nights rest during weekdays 2. The fact that I want to be able to sleep during the night of the weekdays
  • 06
    Font - DaleCoopersWife · 20 hr. ago Partassipant [1] I mean I don't have a kid, just as a disclaimer. But here are my thoughts - you'll both be working during the day. She'll be with the baby all day, you're at your place of employment. You get home and you'll get help out. Great. And then after..? You're saying she has to keep working through the night, while you get to sleep. She needs to sleep too though. So yes, you should also be helping out during the night because otherwise it's her worki
  • 07
    Font - DiscountKnown6388 · 18 hr. ago · edited 16 hr. ago YTA. If I may make a suggestion from my maternity leave: My husband would get home by 6, I went immediately to bed, he handles kiddo til midnight, I get up then and he sleeps midnight to 6 am, when he gets up for work. It's not 8 hours for anyone, but then that's not possible with a new baby. Fortunately my kid was sleeping thru the night by 5 months so we could get back to sleeping all night. Edit: thanks for the award, must credit my hu
  • 08
    Font - a_toxic_rose · 19 hr. ago Partassipant [3] YTA The implication here that it is more important for you to be well-rested because your job is more important than hers is gross. Just because she is on maternity leave doesn't mean she isn't working - she's working to keep the tiny human you two brought into the world alive! She deserves just as much sleep as you. When you are home you share 50% of the responsibility. That includes at night. Having work the next day doesn't excuse you from rai
  • 09
    Font - KimChiDiva · 19 hr. ago So you think the few hours you're home before her midnight "shift" starts is somehow equivalent to her being up with the baby from midnight until you get home the next evening? Because that's the reality here. YTA
  • 10
    Font - Annual-Contract-115 · 19 hr. ago Certified Proctologist [22] YTA for this alone “believing that it's my wife's job because she is getting maternity leave" she's recovering from giving birth and she's taking care of the baby all day yet you act like she's sitting at home eating bon bons and watching TV.
  • 11
    Font - iolaus79 · 19 hr. ago Asshole Enthusiast [9] Info. What are your plans when you aren't in work and she's on mat leave? Ie if you are working Mon - Friday so are asking for Sun - Thursday nights to allow you to be refreshed for work are you doing all the night waking on Friday and Saturday nights?
  • 12
    Font - rosered936 · 19 hr. ago YTA. She needs sleep too. Have you tried offsetting the hours you both sleep? For example, she sleeps 7pm- 1am and you sleep 1am-7am?
  • 13
    Font - meagancavell - 19 hr. ago Partassipant [1] NTA If you're taking over everything in the evening and planning to split nights evenly once she's back to work that's a reasonable ask. It's what my husband and I did and it worked well for us. That said, some nights with a newborn are really difficult and if she's needs your help, even just emotional support you better be doing it without any fuss.

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